[Sarutobi Ayame, a.k.a. Sachan, a former elite Oniwabanshu ninja.]
[The target to terminate this time is the unscrupulous loan shark, Nezumiya.]
Echigoya, you're quite an evil rascal! Omiya must be cursing you from the afterworld.
Surely you jest...
You were the one who set up his murder, Nezumiya-sama.
That was you.
Oh? Is that so?
There you go joking again!
I hope we can continue to do business together.
What is it? Is someone there?
Wh-Who are you?!
Like the sound of the bell at Gion Temple, nothing is permanent...
The color of the blossoms on the twin sandalwood trees...
gives us cause to bring death to fiends and villains.
Good evening. Sachan, the assassin, has come.
Black market merchant Nezumiya.
You preyed on the weak common folk...
to fill your own pockets. An act deserving of ten thousand deaths.
I, assassin Sachan, shall punish you.
Hey, hey, I'm over here!
Prepare to die, Nezumiya!
What did you come here for?!
Oh, I'm sorry...
I dropped my glasses earlier.
Would you help me find them?
Here.
Oh, thank you.
Ah, now I can see what I'm...
I wish I couldn't see now...
Intruder!
My plan has failed! Retreat!
What?!
She's getting away!
After her!
I messed up...
I have no choice. I'll return later.
["Marriage Is Prolonging an Illusion for Your Whole Life"]
Good morning!
Oh, Shinpachi? Morning.
You're early today, Otose-san.
It's because all you guys are such goof-offs.
By the way, you promised to pay last month's rent by today.
Give that message to my good-for-nothing tenant.
Uh...right. I'm sorry.
It's about time he got married and learned a little responsibility.
Yes, you're right...
Gin-san married...?
It could never happen...
Good morning.
Huh? Where is everyone, Sadaharu?
They really are goof-offs.
Okay, get up. It's morning.
Gin-san! Ms. Ketsuno Ana's morning Weather Alert is about to...
Huh? What're you doing, Shinpachi?
Don't come any closer!
Did something happen to Gin-chan?
Why are you trying to stop me?!
Have you become his stopper?!
Stop! There's nothing but a filthy world in there!
Unh... What is it...? You're making too much noise...
So, who is this person?
You're the one who brought her here!
Yesterday...
It's no use. All I remember is up until I went drinking.
You're going to play dumb after engaging in ninja cosplay?
Is she a kunoichi? Did you do kunoichi role-playing?
[Kunoichi is a term for a female ninja, often highly sexualized.]
Cut it out! I wouldn't do a thing like that!
You know I'm into nurse costumes.
Are you telling the truth?
Shinpachi.
Men should play around while they're young.
If they don't, when they're older, they'll be tricked by young women,
or become obsessed with weird fetishes.
That's what Mommy told me.
Your mommy went through a lot, didn't she?
Uh, I...don't remember anything. Did I do anything strange?
No, nothing.
I see, I see. That's great.
I thought maybe for sure I did something wrong while I was drunk.
There are no "mistakes" between husband and wife.
I'll go along with any of your crazy desires.
I beg your pardon?
Now, Dear...
Look how sticky the natto has become.
Say "aah."
Ow-ow-ow.
That's not my mouth.
They say the eyes are as expressive as the mouth, but that's not my mouth.
What do you mean, "husband and wife"?
You will take responsibility, won't you? After doing what you did.
What do you mean "what I did"? I didn't do anything!
What're you talking about?
We were entwined with each other like this natto.
Ow-ow-ow.
I told you, that's not your mouth!
Gin-san, you can't change what you did. Accept it.
They say marriage is more about becoming familiar with one another than love.
What're you guys talking about?!
Your beloved Gin-san's about to be taken away by crazy natto girl!
This is ridiculous!
You're trying to trick me by using the fact that I don't remember anything!
In the first place, we don't even know each other's names, so how can we talk about marriage?
You act as if you don't know. But our bodies know.
Stop talking like that! And that's not me!
If your eyes are that bad, put on your glasses!
They fell off. Here!
So, that's what happened.
My name is Sachan.
Please make me happy for life, my husband.
Uh...likewise. Please be good to us, too.
I prefer fish to meat for dinner, okay.
You're too quick to accept her!
Gin-san is over here!
I'll lay low here for a while to throw off my pursuers.
Looks like she's serious about staying here.
What are you going to do, Gin-san?
A woman who's serious is harder to get rid of than the fat in pork broth ramen.
Good grief.
Times like this, all I can do is calm myself down with something sweet.
He listens to what I say with no problem.
Men are such stupid creatures.
All I have to do now is play the cute, obedient, young wife.
Hey, anyone seen the pudding that I put in the fridge?
You know, the pudding I had in the fridge.
Oh come on! And I tried to hide it, too!
I guess I have no choice, you piggy you!
Huh?
What day is it today?
What is it? Garbage day? The expiration date on a food package?
Oh come on! You've already forgotten?
It's the anniversary of the day we spent together!
We just met a while ago.
Hasn't your personality changed?
Ta-da!
Natto pudding for our anniversary!
Am I being punished for something?
Today, I've made a special combination of our two favorite things!
Now, open wide...
Enough of this!
Hey, after pushing yourself on me as my wife, you're going to sully my pudding?!
The hierarchy in this household starts with me.
After that, it's sweets. Remember that!
Hey! Sweets are number two?!
I didn't play this right... Bear it. Bear it, Sachan.
You don't have to be shy about it. Now have some.
I'm not going to eat this!
It's okay. This is actually pretty good.
Don't eat it!
You're not going to eat it,
so don't go trying to create a collaboration between the pudding and natto, fool!
Are you trying to be a producer?!
I'll hang a cardigan over your shoulders.
This is humiliating.
I was once one of the elite Oniwabanshu-why should I be subjected to this verbal abuse.
If you can't abide by these rules, then get out, you worthless woman!
But what is this? This feeling...
I'm going out to buy something sweet.
Wait!
How'd you end up like that?
The natto...it's sucking me in.
Why're you following me? And what's with that outfit?
Men like young wives, right?
That's certainly a young wife's look,
but only Masuo-kun would like a young wife who looks like that.
That's someone else.
My pursuers won't recognize me in this costume.
Now all I have to do is play the cute, obedient, young wife.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
You just looked at that woman, didn't you?
Hmph. Is she your type?
No way! Are you trying to make me out to be a weirdo?!
What're you doing out here?
Who might you be?
Who am I? Who are you?
Gintoki?
You showed him no respect.
It's no big thing.
By the way, Gintoki, you said that by today, you'd pay last month's...
Just a minute. Don't talk to him so affectionately.
I'm sorry, but Gin-san is already...
mine!
What's with that woman? All I did was ask you to pay me!
So it's alimony you want, is it?
You had your fun, too! You don't deserve any money!
What's that girl talking about?
You're nothing but a woman from his past. Immerse yourself in your old memories.
Hey! You think this is my former girlfriend?!
You really must think I'm a weirdo among weirdos!
I'm going to beat the both of you!
Could she be your mother? Is she your mother?!
Hey, if my mother were like this, I'd have become a delinquent in middle school!
I'd have had a punch perm!
Shall I give you a punch right now?!
Please forgive my rudeness, Mother.
What's with this girl?
She, you know, hit her head when she tripped and fell after chasing a stray cat that ran off with a fish.
She's a little light in the head and enjoys cosplay.
To be treated this rudely in public...
Yet why, again, do I feel...
This stirring in my heart...
More... I want him to torment me more...
What's wrong with this girl?
Man!
Gin-san wasn't firm with her, so now she really does plan on staying here!
Isn't it about time you showed her you're a man?
But I really did try.
That man is smitten with me.
Men are foolish creatures.
But what is this occasional throbbing in my heart?
I'm back.
Gin-chan, you don't think she's...?!
You mean?!
What? Me?
That couldn't be...
Hello? Sachan speaking.
Hello there, Miss Assassin.
You're...!
Nice to meet you last night. I'm glad to hear your voice again.
I think I've fallen in love with the beautiful assassin.
Nezumiya?!
I got your cellular number from...
your friends who snuck into my home.
I'd really like to meet you again.
You will come, won't you?
The stars may change, but the importance of one's friends...
never changes, you know.
Well, I'll be waiting.
Hey.
I've decided to deal with this. I'm an honorable man.
Even though I can't remember any of it,
I can't ignore you after what I did to you.
If you'll settle for a guy like me, then, please marry me.
Are...you serious, Gin-san?!
I see. Then come with me.
To the wedding hall?
I don't have too much money.
Ow-ow-ow! Just a minute...
This is my first time, so please be gentle!
I'd better be careful of women, too.
Shinpachi!
What's the matter?
That.
How long has that hole been here?
Sachan might be an angel from the heavens.
First, you need to meet my father.
An introduction, huh? I've come this far. Might as well keep going.
But why do we have to go this way?
I was raised in a very strict house, so I have a curfew.
Well, you guys sure have a nice, big house.
What?
Is your father a scary guy? What kind of person is he?
He's an unscrupulous loan shark with hair all over his body and buckteeth.
What's with that?
Are you at that age when you don't want to do your panties in the same wash as his?
Every girl reaches that age eventually.
But try to remember-wasn't your father your first love?
Once we're newlyweds, I'm going to change these bad habits of yours.
I'm declaring my dominance.
Shh... Quiet.
Who's that?
Our manservant, Nakamura-san, the butler.
He's on lookout because I'm coming home late.
Let me tell you this now: I'm the type of guy who's pretty restrictive.
If we get married, I'll bind you to my rules.
Huh? Bind...?
What is this? Why does the sound of his words cause my chest to tighten so...?
I want to be bound...bind me! Bind me! Tighter!
Bind...me?
Darn right.
You won't be able to see your male friends or stay out all night with the girls.
Trouble. Nakamura-san saw us.
Wh-What's that?!
It's the assassin! The assassin's back!
Nakamura-san!
That's going too far!
Nakamura-san couldn't help it-that's his job!
Seems like a lot of them are coming. Who are they this time?
It's Nakamura B, Nakamura C and Nakamura D.
So...they're all named Nakamura?!
It has begun. Father is testing the groom. Fight hard for me, honey!
Say what?
Let's go!
Hey! Don't leave your husband!
Allow me to report.
The assassin woman has broken through our security and appears to have entered the mansion.
Then set the traps! When you find them, kill them all!
Yes, sir!
They're like moths flying into a flame.
They won't reach here unless they get past all the traps.
Even if they manage to get here,
we have hostages.
We will finish them off.
Your father must be quite strict.
I'm practically out of work. Think that's all right?
It'll be all right. Just as long as he can trust you as a person.
Bad! This is really bad! They're here!!
What the hell is going on at your house?!
It's a son-in-law test!
He's trying to see if we can make it together even if the path is closed off.
Closed off? It's coming right at us!
Hop! Step! Business Jump!
Seems he is testing whether or not you can withstand the pressure of taking over our House.
I think all I was doing was running away.
I've been expecting you.
Who's this?
My ex-boyfriend. He's working with my father to get in our way.
You're still seeing your ex-boyfriend?
I seriously can't allow that. I told you I'd bind you to my rules.
He's a bit of a stalker.
My foolhardiness gives me license throughout the land!
Hey, ex-boyfriend. Men who cling on without letting go...
are boors!
We need to hurry.
Right.
What's going on here?!
Who are those guys?!
Ex-boyfriends.
What? You've got to be kidding! All of them?
What number am I?!
This isn't good. We have to meet Father quickly and explain the situation.
All right, then you go on first! I'll come later.
But, what about you, Gin-san?
In a situation like this, no husband would stop his wife from going first.
Gosh, this is hard to run in! I should've worn a suit!
I'll be counting on you, then!
Give my regards to Father!
Persistent bastards.
From here on, I won't allow you to take...
one step...
On second thought, no way!
Nezumi-sama! Trouble! Nezumi-sama!
The assassin woman has bested each of our traps,
and she appears to be approaching this way.
Many of the assassins we sent after her have been defeated.
Curses! She doesn't know when to quit!
Doesn't she care what happens to the hostages?!
Since it's come to this, mobilize every last man! Get rid of them at all cost!
Yes, sir!
Nezumi-sama.
Their objective is the rescue of the hostages.
I think the best plan would be to bind their friends to posts
and spear them to death in order to stop them from coming.
Well, then, I...
Oh no, my glasses. My glasses...
Hey, where are you going?
Shh... Be quiet. It's me, Sachan.
I'll rescue you now, so play along for a while.
There she is! It's the assassin!
Kill her!
Sachan! Run!
Sachan!
Wh-Who are you?!
The knockout-blow assassin! It is I... Gin the groom!
Gin-san!
Father!
Please let me marry...
your daughter!
Gin-san? Hey, Gin-san!
Forgive me, Gin-san.
The truth is... Nothing happened between us.
Yet you... You let me use you like this.
Hey, what're you doing? I'm not hurt there. Did you hear me?
That's enough. Don't touch me. You smell like natto.
If you can't even treat wounds like this, no one will have you as their wife.
See you.
Oh, and one more thing...
The next time you want me to help you,
don't do all this roundabout stuff and just come to Odd Jobs.
Think Sachan's fallen in love?
Who knows...
Men really are foolish creatures.
Good morning.
Gin-san! You'll miss Ms. Ketsuno...Ana's morning Weather Alert...
Gin-san, bind me tightly...
No, that's not what I meant.
[Preview]
If it isn't Gintoki!
It's me, Tatsuma Sakamoto!
What? A spaceship is about to crash? That's terrible!
The next episode: "When You're in a Fix, Keep on Laughing, Laughing..."
[After winning a drawing for a free trip to space, the Odd Jobs gang sets out.]
[But was the ship space-jacked and in danger of crashing on a planet?!]